On Figurative Ledge - Talk Me Down?

[sandi2]

Does this make sense? Am I wrong here that I can put off going dark and some of the detaching for a couple of months??

I believe you said that after you said you would wait until she filed for D or LS.

I don't understand why a LBH would wait until she filed before detaching or using any of the LRT (this "is" the last resort). IMHO, you broke the six days of going dark b/c of your emotional needs......not b/c you saw it as saving your M. You knew you were backsliding, planned it, and then did it anyway.

See, here's the thing....if you had just told her that you were calling to see if she and SS were okay, and then cut the conversation off when she said "thank you", it would not have been quite as bad. But you didn't. She did not want to talk to you. You missed your cue. Then you proceed to remind her (as if she needed) that you were her H and still fighting for the M. Big mistake, IMO.

When I was a WAW, those things would turn me off so much! Listen, if the W is wanting out of the M, then the last thing she wants to hear from you is that you are fighting for the M. And when you tell her something that she already knows (like you're still her H), that is a big turn-off.

There was nothing attractive in that phone call. It made you look pushy, weak, and needy. But, that's just my opinion from the eyes of a WAS.

Do you know what I see in these posts from LBH's who say they aren't going to detach b/c of this reason or another reason? I see a man doesn't have the courage to do it. Fear has hold of him and therefore, he tries to find excuses.

I'm not trying to force you to do what I say, but if you ask me what I think.....I'll call it like I see it.