Can't seem to tell what stage or what i'm doing

[Metal]

Just wanted to say that I'm feeling better, and have a few positives to add to my journal.

Yesterday, she asking if I was going to the gym w/her, and I said No. She went by herself.. then like 40 minutes later, she texted me and asked if we could go to lunch, and I agreed. Had a great "date", and she even called it that. Our second date - since the bottom fell out.

Last night she asked me several questions about the "new me".

How come you are my knight in shining Armour now? Doing everything right? Why did you have to wait till I was going to kill myself, to change? Why are you doing this? Are you manipulating me, to get me to stay? (lots of these type questions). We got inturrupted, and I didn't press to re-bring it up (see me not pursuing?), but later she brought it up again, and I did get to answer.

I explained that I had a wake up call. I need to figure out who I am now, with or w/o her. And I need to press on and meet my
responsibilities, regardless of what is happening. I am refocusing, I am changing through this crisis, and I dont even
know who I am, but i'm moving forward. I am not manipulating. W can have all the space she needs, I can back off even more, separate, or whatever. I'm not trying to change that, just trying to be the man I need to be. I confessed how co-dependent I had been w/her, and relied on her for everything. She agreed. W mentioned how she had been unhappy for a long time. W cried for a while and asked me to leave, and I found out today that she cried a lot last night. Might not seem positive, and I'm not really sure why she cried so much.. but I do think that its working.

In other news, I got some advice today (from well meaning friends) that I should talk to her about her Facebook behavior. B/c she has hidden the computer screen when i come into the room, and has admitted that she doesn't want to me to see.. so i suspect she is chatting with OM or someone, or lots? Who knows.. but I have so far stuck to the principal, of no-conflict, no pursuing, no pressuring, no confrontation.. right? I want to say something, or ask her to be careful online.. but so far I am steering away. I've considered spying, or keylogging, but I think that would be harmful to ME.. and then i'd have to lie if she asked me. and i've considereding asking her to stop the facebook, but that is all counter-productive to DB, so I think i'm going to hold off.

I re-read lots of printouts and blurbs I have collected on this site daily, they help me to stay focused on my goal.