Big talk tonight. I am a wreck, need support.

[hope2011]

And back down we go...

So I suggested that do something together this afternoon. I tried cards, games, movie, bowling, go karts, a ton of stuff. Anything near a bathroom in case I get sick (didn't say that part of course!). The boys said no to everything. They wanted to go to the batting cage. Which means they go and we sit or their dad hits too. He decides to go hit. Which means me sitting on the sidelines, doing nothing for an hour. I can't even see them to cheer them on. That's what they chose and off they went, without me. Asked if I wanted to go but what am I to do? I get they are teenagers but we never spend time together as a family much anymore. They are always "bored", on their phones, or want to go play sports. I am at every game, always there to cheer them on. Always. But I'm always on the sidelines, watching H and his sons have fun. Here I am again. He muttered on his way out the door "you never want to do anything". Huh?!?!? I'm trying here, I am. I do whatever they want, all the time. Playing cards together the other night was the first time in months they sat down to do something together other than watch a movie or play sports. What am I to do? I feel like a 3rd wheel. I get involved in their stuff but they keep picking stuff I can't be a part of. Now I'm a stick in the mud. I'm sick and still trying. I even asked if we could do something as a family when they are done and H responded "ok, peachy" sarcastically.

This is the part about DB that I hate... doing whatever it takes to appease the WAS, when they don't seem to care about us at all.

I swear, I'm questioning my own sanity. He's mean and wants a D.... I want to fix it. He calms down and then I start to hate him. Ugh!!!!!!!! I'm trying to keep the ego out of it, trying to focus on him and his wants, etc and show my 180's. But give a girl a break? Mad that I didn't want to go sit outside in January, freezing, twiddling my thumbs while sick to not even be able to see or hear them in the batting cages? This isn't fair.