We spent Christmas and New Year's together, basically living as friendly roommates. We have begun counseling again, with a highly qualified psychotherapist to help sort out her issues.
He informed me that she is having a midlife. He believes the cause is that she angry at having "missed out" on being single since we married young. She came from a very conservative environment and, rightly or wrongly, felt pressured to marry if she wanted the "benefits" of marriage. She believes she can do better than me now. Hence her wanting to date. He described her moral framework as being in flux and her emotional state to be highly distressed. The only reason I have not been kicked out is that she thinks it would be wrong.
He believes that as long as I am living in this small apartment (in NYC) that I am essentially clinging to the relationship. He told me that there is no way she can get better while I am here, I guess because I am the focus of her dissatisfaction, and that I can't win her back while I'm here.
He doesn't consider the relationship DOA, but he does think I will have to endure a lot more if I really want it.
