I'm sorry. Shift gears immediately. Do the complete opposite of what you have been doing, except don't beg and plead. Just don't give yourself an option to be cantankerous.
It is wonderful that you can admit it--most folks don't, they blame. So, don't beat yourself up, that will make you moody.
Go forth, be positive. Take really good care of yourself, that is much more attractive. The sooner you find joy within, the sooner that will radiate out. I know that isn't that easy when you are heartbroken--you need support, but you need to not look 'needy'. If you work in the same place, you will need to be 'on' while you are there. Your 'as if' has to be more non-chalant, not aloof, not overwhelmed.
