No worries at all and please forgive me as well if I have misunderstood you.
For starters, I really wanted to go back and edit that dang post. It was poorly written. (I was at work at the time...sshhh)
I think it's important to differentiate casual dating from something more serious. I do remember MHL saying he was thinking about moving toward the latter. I may have read that wrong, I'll have to go back and check.
I wasn't placing all the responsiblity on him as far as his new R goes, however he does owe it to himself, his children and his new partner to come out of his old relationship with his STBX happy, healed and whole. That one I do believe strongly falls on him and I feel confident knowing what I know about him that he will succeed.
It does take a lot of time to do that though, especially when you've shared so much with someone for so long. (children being by far the most important) I think he will begin to see with time, that situations will continue to arise that make him stop and take a look back. This is tough, and it should be if he wants to make it out of all of this for the better. It's something that he will continue to need to deal with I guess is what I'm trying to say and by asking himself these hard questions he is doing just that.
The main point I was trying to make was to be careful with a new R. It's new, it's emotional and it's exciting. There is of course all of the biological stuff that happens too or "love chemicals" if you will. They can and do, cloud our vision at times. Not to even mention the stressors that are still present while finalizing his D.
Originally Posted By: goodattitudegirl
This brings me to the main point that I wanted to convey to you. Your new GF is an adult woman, right? While I agree with what Jack and trapt said about being "careful with the woman you are currently seeing. I know you have a lot to think about, but is she really getting all of you right now?"......I would argue that she is a grown woman and knows the chance she is taking by dating a man in your position. All you can do is be honest with her to the best of your ability. I don't doubt that you are already doing that. That is the risk that we ALL take in trying to find that special someone,........ and even more so when emotions are so labile.
To be fair I wanted to go back and quote your whole statement GAG. The part in bold is what really jumped out at me.
This to me, sort of sounded like an assumption. Which can lead to trouble. With that said, what you said right after about him being honest, I totally agree with.
It didn't sound like this new woman was aware of what was still taking place between him and his STBX either. Hell, that may be an assumption on my part if so, please forgive me.
In short....Just be careful and go slow my friend. You have a lot on your plate.
