WAW tearing up our family

[Bworl]

I don't see how actively participating in steps that move the two of you apart is consistent with how you feel, or in the best interests of saving the marriage.

You're married about 8 years, which puts you just around the traditional 7 year itch period. Put that together with the wanderings on the part of both of you during the married years, this rocky period is not uncommon.

The question is, what do YOU want?

If you want to save the marriage, if you love this woman, if you are comitted to her for life, then bending to support what she currently "wants" is not who you really are or how you feel.

Not agreeing to a trial separation, not agreeing to renting an apartment together so that the two of you can trial run separation is NOT something that has to be a fight, nor is a sign that you're being confrontational.

Your wife can choose to leave. You can do nothing about that decision. She can choose to officially separate and live life on her own. You can do nothing about that.

But acting as though you are in agreement, well, to me it says just that. "I agree with you." I don't think you feel hat way, so it is disingenuous at best to act as though you do.

You are agreeing to put off conflict, to appeal to her, and in hopes that she will see you being nice and change her mind.

Trust me, I'm pretty sure it won't work that way.

You have to decide what you want and what you are willing to tolerate. Then you have to be a man of integrity and compassion, and yet stick to those decisions.

You can do everything regarding this matter IN LOVE, and not turn this into a dog fight, yet at the same time send the clear and consistent message to your wife that you love her, you love your family, and you believe tearing it apart is wrong and unhealthy.


Think.

To often in this state we act out of fear and later regret that we did not stand firm to our convictions.


Blessings,

Bill