"unless you've been hit by someone who meant the world to you, you just don't know how traumatizing it is."

I've worked with battered women before and my W almost ran me over with her car when I found out about her A. Then she threatened to call the cops on my and took my kids away.

I know how traumatizing it is.

"i just don't want to be one of those that keeps going back and i understand that a lot do and nothing changes."

Then leave him. Not to make light of the situation, but it was two incidences in a short period of time when neither of you had a chance to cool off.

It takes time and it's very premature to make an assumption that nothing will change. Read through some of the posters here. They've been in their sitches for YEARS.

Again, I'm not condoning what your H did, but if you are not going to be patient enough to help him through his issues (whether he wants to or not), then file.

If however, you want to save your 10 years together, then we can offer advice.

No one has disregarded the fact that you were hurt. Hell we ALL have been hurt. Some of the women here were abandoned while they were terminally ill or pregnant. We all have our stories.

But the bottom line is whether or not we want to try to save our marriage or end it. Either way you're not going to be condemned for your decision. We all want to help because we've been or are in your shoes.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER