Detachment issues

[Augtan]

I want to reply to the part about what you think or hope he might really be saying or meaning in his letter to you and in response to your second letter replying to him...I know how hard it is not to grasp at what little bit there is and hope that there is some underlying meaning in what he says that will give you hope, but you need to stop trying to figure this all out! I am writing this to myself as much as to you!! You have to accept (which is near impossible at times) that he is on his own journey and that he really believes what he is telling you and means it just like he says it, even though that might not be the case because of the MLC, you will heal and move forward a lot faster if you go with it like it is, period. Don't find "hope" in anything he says, find hope in you and that it will get better because there is a higher power in control who will get you through this no matter the outcome. I don't mean lose hope that he will ever come back, but don't look for it in anything he is saying or doing. If and when his journey brings him back to you and you are still in a place to accept him back, then that is what will happen, you have no control over it and going over and over what he says, does, doesn't say, or doesnt' do is only going to make it longer and worse for you. Give it up to the higher power that you believe in and you will find much more peace within yourself. OW is (IMO) never going to be his soulmate, you might not be, but she isn't going to be either.

I have a very good friend who's now XH left her for the OW and due to divorce laws in Georgia, morality clauses, he had to marry the OW in order to maintain the relationship because they can't live together unless married and her XH had no where else to go due to lying under oath and getting caught, so alimony and child support are outrageous for him (though well-deserved), anyway...her XH is miserable and him and OW are in marriage counceling after only 2 years of marriage!! I have several similar stories, it seemed that having an A and leaving for the OW was contagious in our neighborhood and the stories are outrageous!! I am thankful that I moved away and that gave my XH the ability to be with OW whenever he wanted without the need to marry her. But, what I am saying is a relationship born in lies, deceipt, destrution of families, cheating, etc. will never have a foundation that can stand the test of time in the majority of cases. Hang in there, you are doing so great, stick to your boundries and keep walking forward.

A