DB'ing but it's a daily struggle - need support.

[Bolt]

...I'm also trying to be realistic with the fact that my W is inititating R talk, not reacting to much to the positives. I think the fact that she still mixes in some "digs" at me help me to stay grounded.

Now the question is, if she truly comes around and tells me she wants to work on the M and R how will I deal with that? Hopefully the cool, calm, collected, thoughtful and caring me will be there and not the slobbering emotional idiot.

I say FORCE yourself to be the new self. The more you are calm, cool and collected, the more that persona will be the one to react. If that becomes you, that's who will react.

It almost seems like you are validating her concerns about you actually changing, right? Don't doubt yourself. If you truly want to change and therefore save the M, you will.

Stay strong!!