MJ144, please do. The more opinions I can get, the better. I will try to catch up on your sitch this weekend. Please jump in whenever you like. A man can never have too many friends. But, please don't let me fool you. I have a long way to go before I can claim that I have "detached." Heck, I started to get a lump in my throat today right in the middle of a huge client meeting. I still have a long way to go. But I can truly say I am much better of now than I was six weeks ago. Talk to you soon!
As of today, I do have an update. When my wife came over on Tuesday night, she presented me with a list of items that she wants from the house. In a nutshell, she wants just about 1/2 of everything in the house including furniture and she stated she wanted an answer by this weekend because she is getting a new place. I told her I would need some time to think.
Yesterday, I did something I never wanted to do, but I have been told by numerous people I needed to do... I visited a lawyer and put him on retainer. He advised me to do a couple of things that I will start on this weekend. I don't want to go into any details here because anything here is public knowledge or can be used in court. None the less, I didn't call her. I wanted to she what she would do. Well, I got a call today. She was friendly and bubbly and wanted to know when we could meet this weekend to discuss my decision. This left me with a couple of questions that I want to pose to anyone who will answer:
1) If she is through with me, our marriage and continues to state over and over again that she is moving on, why does she want all this stuff from our house? This stuff is going to be nothing more than a huge pile of reminders of what once was? Kind of weird, if you ask me?
2) On Tuesday night, when she started to tell me that she had this list, she began crying. As she cried, she started listing all this stuff she is going to need for her new place. I got angry, cut her off and told her she had better not attempt to sit there in front of me and cry because she has no stuff for her new place. Frankly, I was quite stern and raised my voice as I shut her little act down. Why would she do that? Does she think crying in front of me will illicit some mercy or is she really upset about moving which might signal second thoughts?
3) Why do we have to meet in person to discuss this decision? We could easily do this over the phone. Yes, I am excited about seeing her and look forward to it. But she initiated the meeting. Is she just being nice to make sure she gets what she wants?
None the less, in the true spirit of DB'ing, I have decided to cooperate with her to a point. I am going to refuse to give up some things that I really want and give a little on some other things. I still haven't made up my mind if I am going to help her move or not. That seems like a bit much to me, but I have seen cases where that was done. I still love her and I am going to continue to DB my *ss off for the next couple of months. I am just a bit confused by some of her behavior. Is she playing nice to ensure she gets what she needs or is there some indecision on her part.
She means everything to me. I loved her in a way that I have never loved any other woman before. Since she left, I have felt like I lost a limb. But, I will not be played like a fool. This thing will end on my terms because that is what is best for me.
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
