I have seen the fear of loss work many times to get back the ex. As we all should know, logic and reasoning doesn't work on Walk aways.......What does work is getting to their EMOTIONS. This is the reason for the 180's (if you act differently than normal, you get different reactions), this is the reason you detach (so you don't get sucked into unproductive behavior), and this is why sooner or later you get to a state of peace with reality. Reality is that you cannot wait for ever and your life isn't going to end just because your W doesn't want to be with you anymore. The fear of loss can come when D day approaches, when the LBS becomes basically indifferent to their marriage, or the LBS actually moves on with a new person.
Personally I don't think dating is wise (especially very early in the sitch). For those in an affair two wrongs doesn't make a right. Also, If you are just doing it to evoke jealousy or you aren't indifferent to the outcome of your marriage, then it is really unfair to who you are entering the new relationship with. However, casual dating (hanging out with female friends), perhaps innocent/ non-sexual relationships can provide some benefits to your personal well being. It will help build confidence. That being said, every situation is different and each individual really has to be the judge on what makes sense for them.
