"This forum" doesn't think anything--different people each have their own perspectives. All of them are trying to help you, based on what they interpret you as saying. I think all of them are trying to get you to state what YOU want at this point. Moments of crisis, after all, are what force us to reexamine our lives, to see where we've veered away from growing, mentally and spiritually, and to ponder how we want to amend that.
You spend a lot of time talking about your male friend--you had breakfast together, then he told you how to handle collecting your things, he assisted you with that, then he suggested you confide in him, took you to a NY party, sat with you in church several times, drove you to the doctor and physical therapy, tells you what to tell other parishioners, gave you a list of lawyers, gave you all sorts of advice on how things should have been handled....
Taking your friend along to protect you while you collected your things was a wise precaution. However, the rest of it sounds like very dependent behaviour. It sounds as though he does not trust you to take care of yourself like an adult woman, and I'm concerned that he is taking over control of so many parts of your life. That's why I asked if you had other friends who could also assist you.
I think you were right to get away from your H if you thought you were in physical danger. However, rather than seeking advice from others "struggling with violence," perhaps, since this was a one-time event, it would be better to focus on how YOU want to proceed, on what the underlying rifts in your M really were, on where you might want to strengthen and mature. This kind of self-awareness, in the end, is what this whole website is about.
