Quote: He told me I had been fabulous! Fabulous at what? Well because I left him to it basically. My only thought is that he may well come out of the tunnel at some point and be grateful. Meantime I have a lodger who pays all my bills and babysits now and again. Better than nowt.
You sound very detatched and H appreciates the lack of pressure. Great job! I think if you stick with it long enough, you will reap the benefit.
I am going to read the book, "Tough Love" by Dr. Dobson. Have you heard of it. I heard it was good. nik
Well I've been home with a depressed H myself and felt pretty much like you. At first I was just rather greatful to have him HERE (this during the bombings)...
And he did NOTHING...he slept, he watched old Star Trek re-runs...I DID cut him a lot of slack. Did it get aggravating after about month 2 or 3...a bit! I wondered if he "milked it" some.
But he DID start coming around. He's off his meds now and seems to be holding his own (no, he didn't tell me he was going off, but it's a good thing as Serzone has been recalled ).
Hi KK See first post in this thread for the last time we ML. It does happen but not that often - say once or twice a month? The real downturn was after s(4) was born - that is kind of normal I guess. But it was less frequent than I would have liked way before then.
Hi LL thanks for peeking!
Hi Nik, Yes I think something clicked with me about the detachment thing a few weeks ago, it has made a big improvement to the way I feel in general.
Hi Shiny
H is not taking any meds. The doctor offered but he hasn't been back to ask for anything. I'm confused about it all. I am not sure whether the meds would help or not. As I say I have a friend who has been on and off meds over the years and her current bout with depression is not responding well, the side-effects are worse than the depression. It all strikes me as a bit Brave New World - if you ever read that book. It's just like the doctors are saying - oh you can't cope as cog in the giant machine, OK here take the happy pills and get on with it.
Shiny am I right in thinking that you have some expertise in this area? Can you help me out, would I be better off suggesting he go back to the doctor and discuss the meds again? As you can tell my gut instinct is against it.
take care all and Merry Christmas
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
I'm on AD's and I really believe they are helping me. The only side effect I really have to deal with is they tend to make me sleepy much earlier at night than I am used too.
What they do for me is help me stay more level so that my thinking process is easier for me to manage.
Shiny does have some expertise in this area as she is the one I talked to a lot before going on the medication. I really didn't want to go on it, but now believe it has definitely helped! But you don't ever want to stop them cold turkey and I found this out the hard way!!!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Being on the meds helped me to reclaim my life. I was able to face and mostly overcome my fear of driving. I was able to make a habit of going to work early every day, as opposed to calling in sick all the time. I was able to get back to feeling normal.
Now when that normal feeling starts slipping into depression, I am able to recognize it because I have a yardstick to measure it against!
I weaned off after a year, with my Doctor's help...and I'm quite grateful for the meds. They weren't something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. But they helped me get out of the black hole I was in.
you've heard from people that are or have taken them...and their thoughts on them but since this is h we are talking about let's pose the question to these wonderful women who have offered their experience with meds and see how they would have felt pre-med about their spouse "suggesting" that they go back to their doctor and take them?
if that kinda sounds like I'm not in favor of you pushing the issue of meds with h again, you're right.
The best you can do right now (mho of course ) is to learn what you can about depression and how to deal with a depressed spouse (I believe there's a section in dr about it) from books, people, doctors etc. but in the end to take or not to take meds will be h's choice.
).
) is to learn what you can about depression and how to deal with a depressed spouse (I believe there's a section in dr about it) from books, people, doctors etc. but in the end to take or not to take meds will be h's choice.