There's no doubt your H needs help, but right now he doesn't want to seek it himself. It's like alcoholism. Alcoholics aren't going to recognize they have a problem until they look inwards and say "hey I'm an alcoholic".
The questions are about you and your attitudes towards your H not his actions. When it comes right down to it, do you still stay by his side and get through this or do you D?
The shoves were out of character and I'm sure it was out of fear/shame/embarrasment, etc. To be honest, if you haven't had an open sex life in terms of discussing what fantasies the two of you have, maybe that adds to it. I wouldn't go so far as to say he wants a sex change just because he looks at shemale porn. Maybe it's just a weird fetish of his. I don't know and neither do you until he opens up to you.
You can't keep mindreading why he's doing what he's doing. It makes your sitch worse by causing you to resent things that may or may not be true. Only your H knows and right now he doesn't feel like talking.
When you brought the other man over, it was probably emasculating to your H to see you getting help from someone else. It's messed up, but right now that's his thought process.
So what do YOU want?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
