A weird couple of weeks here. H was signed off work due to stress and depression. He spent the week mooching about the house promising himself (not me I never said a word) he would spring clean but didn't get round to any of it. I left well alone, didn't ask him about how he felt etc. He had already made it clear I could say nothing right so I said nothing.
I think I did do some detaching though and that was good. Went to TK Maxx and got a bargain basement pair of Calvin Klein jeans size 6 woo hoo! Caught myself skipping around the house in them and decided that was fine, I can skip if I want to skip and H can mooch if he wants to mooch.
I read a bit about depression and decided that vitamin B complex couldn't hurt. H agreed to take them! That is huge for him. So I have been bringing him coffee and toast and vit B every morning.
This depression thing is so letting him off the hook on everything but I have decided that I don't mind. He is a roommate that is a bit under the weather right now, I have no expectations of him at all and that is working for me at the moment.
We had some of the doors taken down and stripped a few months back and they never got put back up. They have been getting in the way sitting in an alcove where we normally keep coats so the coats have just been thrown on the banister rail - eugh! Anyway I decided I would try to move the doors out of the way - which was a stupid thing to do because I have an unstable pelvis since childbirth. The thing is H never said - you shouldn't have done that, you should have left it to me. He never said anything at all about it, even though I was wincing and telling myself off for moving them (no not in a hint hint way). He just gave me a poor old you look and left it at that. He seems disengaged with life at the moment but I guess that is how it is.
He told me I had been fabulous! Fabulous at what? Well because I left him to it basically. My only thought is that he may well come out of the tunnel at some point and be grateful. Meantime I have a lodger who pays all my bills and babysits now and again. Better than nowt.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
