18 Years of Marriage - Leaving in June

[Harrier]

I think a lot of left by spouses think along these lines in the beginning. I will do the dishes and see if she notices....I'm going to fix that fence that she's been asking me to fix for the past five years and see if she thanks me....I'm going to follow her around and make sure she doesn't have to do anything anymore..... Actions need to be for you.... I'm doing the dishes because I DECIDED a good husband pulls their weight with household chores... I DECIDED to fix the fence because I'm sick of looking at it... Wife you can pull your weight around here too.

Do your share without expectations.

I often wonder why men (it seems) only come to this conclusion after there are issues? I mean really shouldn't this have been done from Day 1 of the marriage.
It almost seems as if a lot of men follow the same script. Bomb (after the shock) they go into Super-Father/Super Husband mode.
"I'm going to make dinner. I'm going to do the dishes. I'm going to spend more time with the kids. I'm going fold the laundry. etc."
I know it gets a little tricky if the W is a SAHM, but there is still stuff to do.
It it any wonder why the Ws doubt the changes. I know everyone promises to keep them going and I'm sure many do.
but why does it take the wife leaving to trigger this.

I don't want to suggest that if you only helped out around the house, you might not be here. God knows there are people here who did do their share and are still here.

Honestly, a part of me is embarrassed by this as a guy.