I think a lot of left by spouses think along these lines in the beginning. I will do the dishes and see if she notices....I'm going to fix that fence that she's been asking me to fix for the past five years and see if she thanks me....I'm going to follow her around and make sure she doesn't have to do anything anymore..... Actions need to be for you.... I'm doing the dishes because I DECIDED a good husband pulls their weight with household chores... I DECIDED to fix the fence because I'm sick of looking at it... Wife you can pull your weight around here too.
Doing actions hoping to get a response or notice from your W is approval seeking and it is not attractive... Following your W around and trying to make sure she doesn't have to lift a finger is the same... You can't become a slave and spend your life doing everything for them. (Would you/ could you really live the rest of your life doing all these things, or is it just when your wife wants to leave you that you suddenly are MR helpful and only think of what you can do to please the W? trust me it's not authentic and will get you no where) This behavior is not masculine and it will NOT change their feelings. If you go too far with this it WILL piss them off, after all she's been asking you for more help around the house for years right? Do your share without expectations.
