I probably shouldn't be writing this now as I have just had the most stupid argument with S and am still feeling completely mad
He is on a hair trigger obviously, since his diagnosis. Huh, like maybe that is giving him an excuse to be on a hair trigger. He just got mad with me over the stupidest little thing, and as soon as I try to point out that maybe I could get mad over some stupid little things that he does but I don't, he goes into his you always have to be right routine. No I don't always have to be right, but I don't always have to be wrong either. Grrr!
I don't know if I can stand this anymore. Since he went to the doctor's on Monday, she signed him off work for a week and he has been hanging round the house doing not a lot. I made it clear to him at the start that it was fine with me, it was his week off and I had no expectations of him. OK so day 1 he decides to give up alcohol, this lasts 2 days. He decided (of his own accord) that he would spend the week cleaning the house so it would be nice for Christmas. None of this has happened. This morning he woke up saying he would clean the guest room (ready for his parents to stay) and tidy the office. Today he spent the entire day in front of the computer.
We were having dinner together and had a little spat over how to share out the last piece of chicken. Totally minor and when I left the subject alone and started to be light-hearted about other stuff he still looked annoyed and didn't join in my mood. He said, all serious, we should clear up. Which we did (except he went out for a smoke) came back and said he was off to bed. I still had to finish up.
The stupid argument was over the fact that I had left christmas cards I am writing on the bed and they were still there when he wanted to go to bed. He says "maybe it's a cultural thing, but why do you have to cover every single surface". OK maybe I do cover some surfaces but he is NOT IMMUNE to this ailment. And me pointing out the fact that he leaves HIS crap about the place is me "always having to be right".
Just a stupid nothing argument but it has got both of us so worked up.
Can anyone help? How do I deal with a depressed spouse?
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
