Wow I totally lost this thread and I thought it never got approved and started a new one.
thanks for all the support everyone. deep down I believe we won't end up divorced as I am very determined to save this marriage.
Let me paste the other thread I started here so there's only one to follow.
We have only been married for 2 years and have a 2 year old son. At the beginning of our relationship, we were deeply in love. But ever since the baby was born, we did put our relationship in the back burner. We haven't been connecting and it went on for about a year or so. I started to get more and more unhappy and I kept questioning him if he's happy. At first he said he is, I was frustrated because I wasn't. The pressure of having to look after the kid, juggle work, and taking care of the house, plus him is taking a toll on me a big time. He had moved to China for me so he doesn't speak Chinese. His work rely on my connection so he's largely depended on me. I feel the pressure on that at the same time, he doesn't do much around the house (we have a maid to do everything including taking care of the baby already. But I feel that he doesn't spend enough time with our child). The pressure has gotten so heavy on me that, I started to take sleeping pills to get myself to sleep at night. And that made me sometimes have angry heated outburst at him at night. Things gotten very bad and I made him and I go to see couples therapy. I quit my drinking and sleeping pill cold turkey. (successfully) But it was then, he started to want to call it quits. He moved to our guest room, it's been at least 2 months now. And no matter what I do, he was angry and cold at me. He avoided being at home and one day he told me that he wants a divorce.
I of course did all the begging and crying and you know what. I had his dad came to stay with us for a bit and asked his dad to talk to him. He was so angry at his dad so that was a failure also. I watch our situation gone from bad to worst and I am trying to do the 180. It's hard. I DON"T EVEN KNOW ON WHAT F$#&King ground he has to be angry at ME. WHY THE F I have to be eating all his crap and be the one who is jumping through hoops to get him to NOT break the family up. But I have no choice. I want to keep this family together.
We were such a good couple before. Everyone envied us. He was quite a good guy, very good looking and adores me. He used to worship the ground I walked on and express his affection boldly in public. Now, he wouldn't even want to look at me. He wouldn't even give us one more chance to work things through. He just want out.
Thankfully we got married in Hong Kong and the law would only grant a divorce AFTER we have gone through 2 years of separation. I feel like he isn't even thinking things straight. If we are divorced, there will be no reason for me to stay in China. I will move back to Hong Kong with my 2 year old son. He would lose his dependent visa to Hong Kong and he won't be able to see his son so easily. He adores our kid thats for sure. But he thinks I am using my son to get to him. And on top of that, he will lose his current dependent visa to stay in China as well. He thinks he could quickly open a company in China and acquire a business visa to stay.
I feel that he is in a very angry stage. Maybe he's depressed I don't know. I don't want him to make any rush decision and later regret it. As it will change everyone's life. I still do love him very much. But this is soooooo hard for me.
I have just came up with an idea, maybe I would go work in our Singapore office for 2 months, leaving him and the kid in China. In that case, he can't move out as he will need to look after the child. and hopefully by the time I come back, he will be in a much better state of mind and will be willing to work on our marriage again.
