Original thread is divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2110657
I want to sum up a few things b/c that thread I am all over the place. I am out on the road, last contact with W she said she would b moved out by Dec 31st and I haven't been home to confirm. As of now divorce papers have not been filed. Last info I have is that she is having a EA/PA. She has responded to 1 inquiry about our pets. I have written and sent a letter apologizing for hurting her and explaining how I should have treated her. I have flirted with some women just to see what happens but nothing has progressed. I am taking the "treat her like a sister" tactic for the little I've attempted to contact her, except for the apology letter, which is what a coach suggested.
I know that I keep working on myself but what else do I do? Just wait with almost no contact?.
Sorry to hear you're facing the same thing. One thing I've learned already, be active in this, don't let her plan everything. My W has taken most of the furniture, given away pets, packed my stuff, taken financial documents, wiped out everything on the computer, and closed a joint savings account.
Tried another text to her asking how her and the kids are and I am getting no response. I am texting the # that we got together and it is still valid but she also has had a new phone and # for awhile. I know what the # is but figured it was best to NOT use it.
I am not even getting the civil discord anymore and have no idea if more stuff has been removed from my house or not. Job hunt is hard, especially while I am on the road. If anybody is hiring in central PA let me know.
Something I forgot to post before: I went home for Christmas and we didn't see each other at all. I didn't get invited to my inlaws for the family get-together but everybody else, including my W, was there. Before I hit the road I went over and said bye to my mother-in-law and saw my dogs for about 15mins. When I was about to go out the door my MIL gave me a hug (which she does a lot) but she held on tight and for longer than normal.
Should I just keep LRT? LLRT? Or do a 180 when I get home again and just find her and act-as-if? Or something else entirely?
Got a reply this morning from W saying that the kids are fine. She also said her mom won't let her stay with her this weekend so she will be in our house from the 20th-24th. I let her know that I am due my time off on the 24th and don't want to waste it playing games about the house since I know she doesn't want to see me.
She told me to just tell her when and she will leave. I said alright and told her to have a nice day.
Running through the convo and I realized that the wasting time comment and bringing up that she doesn't want to see me were bad ideas.
Wasting time is too adversarial a wording and me mentioning that she doesn't want to see me was useless b/c we weren't having a R talk.
I should have just asked "and what if I get home while you're at the house?". Would have been less adversarial and left the decision up to her without me being too soft.
Geez, had a woman who is recently separated tell me she doesn't want a boyfriend but does want to get laid. She said I could use her to make my W jealous.
Got home and I am looking at the small positives; which basically means the status quo stands. House is how I last left it, except for some stuff on the computer and food gone from the fridge, and 2 of the cats are still there. I was scared that more of my kids would be gone. Put in a couple of job apps and have plans for the coming days. Oh, no divorce papers filed/served from what I can tell.
