who are you?

[25yearsmlc]

Marmie,

You ignored the issues & questions raised in my lengthy post to you. Why?

Given that, I guess I just don't buy your version of events.
Especially when you ignore the hard questions. Your story has evolved dramatically from your original posts about his "sick sexual side" you discovered. Then you say he was pushy with you when he tried to leave the room as you were confronting him about his "sins". Later your posts said it was actually a "hit," so now he's an "abusive hitter" who "will always be violent". It's all about him being wrong (x 2 ).There's still nothing about you in this story.

Finally, I cannot believe you did NOT check into any health issues of your h's. How will you feel if you learn that he is sick? What if his illness is treatable?

I mean, after your claim that all was well and good in the m for "YEARS" with NO indication of any problems sexually, (you said you had a good sex life until your discovery) and with no temper to speak of. Nothing in his history suggests any of this happened before. Then Suddenly, he does not one, but TWO major personality 180's, and poof! You are done.

So what is it? He completely changed, overnight, and you're too busy to figure out what the heck happened to your marriage? You just want out? Or, Was the marriage lousy for a long time and you were in denial, or are you over reacting to actions of his and looking to blame him for your seriously bruised ego? ( I can understand that, but I'd admit it. We all have egos). Are you letting your new OM friend steer you into rigid negative labels, and just ditching the marriage? What is really going on? Why do you ignore the hard questions and then portray yourself as a victim, being "blamed" when all I did was ask you questions to assist you?
Is this type of communication a pattern of yours or in your marriage?

As an attorney, I can tell you that NOT all hitters hit again. A one time thing can be reversed. There's research to back this up. Hence the use of "anger management" classes. Not all of it fails.

But something tells me you don't want him anyhow. So AGAIN I ask, what is it you want from us here, on a divorce busting site?

And btw, before someone reduces what I'm saying b/c they can't grasp nuance, I do not support staying in an abusive marriage. But I also don't buy that this M is necessarily one of them. Even if it is a bad marriage now, I sure would want to know how a "good marriage" can change so fast and so dramatically. I'd want serious counselling about my role in any of it, and what to look for in the future. You don't seem interested in that.

So again I ask, What is it you want?