A few things have happened in the past few days that I would normally need to "vent" about. But my new reaction isn't anger, its "well, I'm not surprised", "this reinforces what I already know" and then to let it go. It will probably build up and then I'll have another venting episode...but I've gone from getting angry to just expecting it. And when it doesn't surprise me, I see that it was symptomatic of our marriage. Example--XH went to his band practice tonight instead of going to see our 5th grader's orchestra concert. He could have rearranged practice--its just him and another guy--but instead of feeling anger, it just reinforces what I felt in the marriage--that his "stuff" always trumped everyone else's stuff. No use trying to fight it. Just recognize it and let it go. It feels almost more enlightening than anything else.
