Having a really hard time...

[MrBond]

"The reason why I didn't want anything was because I felt like it was tainted. Like it was blood money."

It's your marriage. Would you consider it "blood money". That is your emotions talking. So what is your plan of action?

[what next?]

I told her that I will take the car with her paying off the note. I think she is going to be OK with that and it leaves me with about 35 to 40k in equity.... I'm guessing that on paper we have somewhere around 120k and with the stuff I took when I moved out I probably have about 50k of that so its not too bad... I guess we'll just sign the papers and see what comes next.

[what next?]

50k = the car + stuff I took

[MrBond]

And so what are your plans for saving the marriage? Or have you given up?

[what next?]

What can I do? I think that the only thing I can do is let her finish the process and get to the other side. When she realizes that it isn't the promised land then maybe she will look at our relationship as viable... right now she is running and I don't know how to stop her without fighting her and that has done nothing but push her farther away at this point.

[MrBond]

Take control and be proactive. Right now as everyone has mentioned before you are just sitting back and letting her run the ship. What have you been doing for yourself?

If you want something you're going to have to be willing to fight for it. Note I said fight FOR it and not fight it.

[what next?]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do different. I'm trying to lrt but our only contact is about the divorce. What can I do that would be proactive? I can't initiate contact...

[MrBond]

"I can't initiate contact..."

Why not?

You could always say that you'd prefer to meet face to face to discuss things. Keep things light and maybe act "as if" you are fine with the D. Have your requests in place.

[what next?]

Well that's pretty much what I'm doing just not in person but that doesn't seem like lrt to me

[MrBond]

LRT is agreeing with your spouse that the D is best. What you're doing is going dark.

Either way, what you're doing hasn't worked. Try something different, what have you go to lose if she's already on track to D anyway?