Wow. I think you need a couple of weeks to absorb everything from the visit. Do you miss HER or being with her and your girls? You got a face-to-face reminder of what you've lost... plus her physical changes... I imagine that was really, really hard. But I think if you take some time to absorb it and not react to it all now in the middle of this flashback euphoria, you would get better footing and make better choices in DB. Especially if you feel her pulling away again.
Loved what you said about the end of movie - I felt the same way when I saw it.
It's entirely the opposite of a reminder of what was. A lot has changed and I've visited before. It's just her. Maybe also an openness that came about through a new, more open perspective. Whatever it is, it was shocking and gut-level. Trust me, I've had to deal with a lot of "what once was" issues. I'm learning to let the past go.
I feel connected to her. It's just tragic that she doesn't feel the same.
Don't get me wrong, I get the need to take in the info and assess. That gut-level clarity was unexpected but difficult to dismiss.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
