I really have not thought about it one way or the other.
Are you sure man?? Not at all?
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Side note here.....my STBXW has not asked me to do anything with her as a family or individually since April 2010, when she offered to come over and help plant some plants and have some beer.
Is this her testing the waters?? Do I care??? If I say no and she later reveals that she was reaching out, how will I feel??? Is this bad for the kids, does it send the wrong message???
FTR....I never have really completely turned my back on her.....my DBing was for me.....and I still am DBing.....always will.
The other concern is more hypothetical or rhetorical....
Let us assume that I was interested in reconciling......
What would be the right course of action if I wanted to reconcile????
Go over for dinner or don't go???? Which would be the better option for reconciling?
Being completely honest about what I want......I don't know if I want to reconcile.....
BUT
It would be nice to hear that my STBXW would want to reconcile, not so I could slam her and say "no effing way".....
I guess maybe more of "Hey look I came out of the tunnel, I realized I effed up and I would like to try"
Call it external validation for me, call it whatever......
I am not sure myself.....that is why I came here.
Dude, this sounds like a whole lot of thinking right here.I really don't care for the "believe non of what they say shitt." Are they mixed up? Eff yes!
Does the "thank you dinner" sound a bit odd? Sure, but the whole "believe non of what they say" thing leaves the door wide open for folks to not truly accept what is going on.
I saw a whole different Missher last week. One who was detached and said he didn't care. Then the poor guy gets invited to dinner...
Originally Posted By: missherlove
Well, a little more on MHL's activities as of late.....I have been dating for the last 2 months and have met many very nice women and have been having a great time!!! For me it has reminded me of some of the things that I need to do to keep the attraction alive!!! I take care of myself, eat right, exercise, and don't take myself too seriously. This is how we should act in our marriages, that is.....trying to constantly "attract" our spouses.
Bingo, you do sound pretty damn attractive. Why does this invite surprise you and stir up all of these questions? What's in the playbook? What is it that the vast majority of them do?
They almost always check to see where they stand with you after a while. They seem to want you close but not too close. They want to make sure your still "there".
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The other thing I realize is that she is still in the tunnel, deep....just from the things she said and how she is rationalizing her decisions. She may never come out or may come out after getting involved in another R with another man. I do not want her in my life in her current state of mind, so I am pressing forward with divorce....it is what I want.
I think you're correct about being her still being out there. Does that mean you shouldn't go to dinner? You can only answer that one. Just be mindful of the above and see this for what it is.
I agree with Jack too. Please be very careful with the woman you are currently seeing. I know you have a lot to think about, but is she really getting all of you right now?
As for dinner, this is JMO but I think your STBX is making sure your still "around."
