"The reason why I didn't want anything was because I felt like it was tainted. Like it was blood money."

It's your marriage. Would you consider it "blood money". That is your emotions talking. So what is your plan of action?

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER