I think you did great. Try to learn from the mistakes. You knew what they were since you mentioned it. 1. Don't get pulled into fights, and 2. Don't pressure her. See how doing the right thing gets you the results you want, and doing the wrong things just pushes her away? It is counter intuitive I know. You need to fight those emotions and instincts constantly. Hold the line, stay strong. Congrats on following through on those boundaries also.
One other quick note. Do not tell her about the changes you are making. If you explain to her all the changes you are making she will think it is all for her benefit. Make the changes for you. Trust me, as long as it is genuine, she WILL notice. Your job is give her opportunities to notice without forcing it or pressuring her to interact with you. Think, drawing her in like a magnetic field, not reeling her in like a caught fish.
As far as risking your heart again, try to re-frame that (not taking anything away from your Mother, she is correct, but stating it in her Mom terms). I prefer:
***You are a man that knows what he wants, and is not afraid to go for it.***
If you don't get what you want, so be it. Putting yourself out with the possibility of getting crushed is a victim mentality. Resolve never to be the victim again.
If she chooses not to come back, it truly is her loss. Do you believe it? I do! For myself and for you!
Open your heart and let it be vulnerable with someone who is committed to you, someone you can trust it with. She hasn't earned that back yet. For now you are a man who knows his worth and knows what he wants!
Please get "Hold on to Your N.U.T.s" by Wayne Levine, it compliments DBing nicely for men.
Don't let your thread fade man, you can do this.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
