The year of not my problem

[AJM]

No, I think that's wrong. I found myself as recently as last night letting even more go. I let go of the idea of what I thought she was. I allowed myself to see things as they really are and what her and my actions were. Know what? I have no regrets. Know what else? I'm glad I did what I did. And I'm glad she's gone. We had a good marriage, but it's over. We aren't going to be friends etc (that I can see - I've learned I can't see the future but for now my friends don't treat me the way she still tries to treat me). It's that over. That's ok.

As I've learned about the lies and the affair etc, it really is as simple as letting go. I tried in the beginning but got derailed for a while. That doesn't happen any longer. When I let myself see things as they really are, I began to see that I wouldn't want her as even a friend. I really don't. Which surprised me because I thought the same - don't really ever get over.
I disagree now. I don't want her in my life. At all. And the best part? She'll have a higher paying job than I have and will be able to fund the kids college etc. I really don't have to worry about that. I have the relationship I want with the kids. What more is there? Honestly, I'm very happy even though she has and likely will continue to try and hurt me. I've lived through the worst she can do to me and I'm happier for it.

Can I get over her? Yep. Will it hurt for a little while longer? Yes, but not very much. I don't have a guilty conscience and I am very much at ease with what I've done over the course of my marriage and since. I didn't have much to change, so that part wasn't terribly painful or earth shattering. I just had to get past the part where I trusted her to see clearly. That was the first step and the rest have become much easier.

I can and will totally let go. Wasn't what I asked for but it is what I want now. I want her out of my life. Completely. The best I can do is to only have to talk to her where it regards legal or child matters. That can be managed to a minimum and she can talk to my lawyer for the legal aspects.

I will also be the one to initiate the divorce. The day after I can. I realized what she did and why she stayed so long after I said I wouldn't stand in her way. After that realization? I hope she has a nice life and know that she probably will do quite well. Great. Kids need a stable mom if they can get one. But I'll be the one to move forward - for me. It won't help anyone else as far as I can tell. Nor does it matter of course, but I'll move on. I'll totally let go. I'm almost there.....

AJM



Because I know