Can't seem to tell what stage or what i'm doing

[Metal]

Strangely today, I feel angry. Which is kind of a new feeling for me.

I think I have been a good husband. I am caring, play with the kids, i'm responsible, help with the house, take her out to lunch, talk on the phone with her. Spend all my free time with her and the kids. I really do give her a lot of attention.
Some people think that I've over-pampered her. We have a nice house. I come home early from work. Church together. I don't go out or drink or whatever. I know I have had some failings, like I should have moved her parents out sooner... Should have bought her the TV that she kept asking for.

I know I followed a lot of cheeseless tunnels to prove that I was right about some things. But all in all, I think I am a good husband, and a valuable human-being.

She has complained everyday since Dec 9 about leaving (maybe skipping 1 or 2 days). She is blaming all her problems on me, and I just don't think it's fair.

Maybe for me, a 180 would be quitting. I'm tired of being nice and playing the friend card all the time. How is it that someone I love could turn and stab me in the back like this?

What would she do if something REALLY bad happened? What if I had an accident, or I got injured, or something? Would she really be there for me? I'm guessing NO. How is it that i'm trying to save my M, and I'm wondering if i'll ever be able to open up to her again? I don't trust her, and i'm mad at her.

DB'ing is great, but I don't see how I'm going to go back to a spouse after being abandoned and hated. Does forgiveness cover all? Just keep taking the abuse? I think i have endured a lot of emotional and verbal abuse during the course of our Marriage.
And now it's going to climax to this? Where I'm the guy to take all the blame, and just keep smiling?

This stinks.
Sorry to Rant.
Don't worry, I'm going to see my counselor today.