Day 3 since the divorce announcement. He's still at the house. Slept 2 days on couch. Day 3 slipped into bed somewhere around 3 a.m. The kisses goodbye in the morning have ceased entirely. That's a first in our 11 years. He was real nice for 2 days. Nicer than he's been in months. Then started turning cold again today. These are truly bizarre human beings.
Said he was going to call a lawyer yesterday. Have no idea if he did. Figured that I wasn't supposed to ask. I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel and deleted it before sending it. It made me feel better to get my feelings down on paper but I know that I wasn't supposed to send it.
I put a skirt on for the first time in a few years today. Made me feel good. This mess stinks but it is certainly the best diet plan I've ever been on. Now down 23lbs.
Right now, I find most comfort in this community and the Bible. I find that I also feel better talking to people in my family. I'm fairly certain that each of them have gotten together to assign a day to call me. I think that's sweet actually. It's weird that I am talking as much as I am because I am definitely not a talker. But I do find it a bit comforting.
I keep waiting for this to get easier. But I know that will only come with time and distance. I have rage somedays too that I need to temper. I just can't understand how this all happened. Just like everyone else, I didn't think it would happen to us.
Anyway, I pray for you all. I pray for your peace. I think most of all we all need peace.
