I'm about to have a major backslide... I can't take the no contact bw W and I. I'm going to call her to see how she is doing...
Ask yourself why Denver.
I understand your attachment believe me. I told you this is the hardest part.
You are attached to your old M.
It does not mean you don't love or care about your W. It means you love her enough to give her space.
For her choices.
Not forcing or controling what you want right. To validate yourself.
We start here with a lot of fear and we come here to get our spouse back.
All your actions right now, all your thoughts are on this goal.
This is still the old you thinking and driving your actions.
Detachment is for you. When you pull yourself out of the fear based thinking that got you here.
You cannot control this. You will try and you will backslide until you learn from your mistakes.
Listen to Pickle. He has been there and knows that road. It is fresh in his mind.
This is a long process Denver. And your detachment is a process that will go through many stages.
You are asking some good questions. I see you digging. More work to do. Put your miner hat on and turn on that little light on the front. That begins YOUR journey.
Your W must come to her answers and you must let her do that. That may or may not include you.
Very difficult question for you.
What are you prepared to do for your M if you are not assured it can be saved?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
