I really understand and honour why you are preparing to do this. And we have to be true to ourselves.
However, be aware that ground rules simply do not work with our MLCers. Normal rules, they believe, do not apply to them. And your husband will likely push the boundary because you will not want to make a fuss in front of your in laws at such a difficult time. They are no longer sensitive caring people, remember. It is all about them. It is about power and control and doing what they want at the time.
It must be terribly difficult working with your h However, you are clearly a very skilled executive, and I wonder if you couldn't consider finding another position? Perhaps not as well paid, but maybe a cut in salary would be worth it. You are entitled to half the business and now might be the time to get a separaiton order. Believe me these people will financially trash you if you don't protect your assets at a relatively early stage. I speak not only from my own experiennce but that of many others.
And I also think it would be a good idea to write to your in laws gently setting out the ground rules to them, so if your h decides to over step them they cannot plead ignorance, and they might even try and restrain him - I am thinking particularly of his conduct with OW. She will likely be acting up at this time, and egging him on to disrespect you. I don't know her circumstances, but I do know the type!
You are an amazing woman. I think I would have considered taking all the assets, in your shoes, and going on a wild spending spree!! Not too late for that. There are many women who would come along and help you!
