Living Like Roomates 2

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks Bolt. I agree with what you are saying. If I try to find a positive outcome with everything she says I am just setting myself up for failure.

How? Being upbeat does not equate with expecting all things to do your way in your time frame. And you can contain the internal damage you might feel if you are disappointed.

But how can that be any worse than expecting to be hurt and then being hurt? PLUS, I really believe what you put out, you'll get a lot of back. So you may be creating the very thing you fear. Expecting to be hurt and fearing a positive attitude as if it somehow makes your life worse, is the opposite of what's likely and besides, you can handle it anyhow. Why worry instead, that you CAUSED it? Positives yield positives, mostly. If it's hopeless, at least you'll know you gave it your all and you didn't creat the negative energy.

Today was a pretty positive day. Wife emailed me a few times at work and called me once as well. After dinner, we sat at the table and talked about her day. Later on she stayed up to wait for me and one of our kids to come home from a school event, something which recently she would never do.

Focusing on the positive stuff will help with keeping my outlook positive which like you say, should make me more attractive to her.
EXACTLY...

Part of my problem, was that I was an angry and grumpy person, so I have to make sure that I don't regress.
WOW, Well that's a valuable insight you must not forget. Hasn't this solved your earlier dilemma about fearing the hope for good things? I mean, you know a negative attitude hurt your marriage. And YOU. So why is this still even an issue? Is the change a cosmetic one, or is it real? If it's real, then now is when it counts. Being upbeat, b/c you know you are going to live in a happy future and that you bring that positive energy to life's table, is a gift women value. IF THEY TRUST IT...In this one post you worry about how somehow you'll be more disappointed in outcome if you hope for good things and have an up beat attitude, and yet you admit a negative attitude is part of what got you here in the first place. Remember this. And just to be clear, I am not saying "Expect" something. I'm saying prepare for a happy life right around the corner, no matter what comes, b/c you know life is good, you are a loving and lovable person. Believe it, so that it shows.
Another day and we are still together in some form, so that is good news as well! As always, thanks for the input.

Good luck.