Thank you all for your encouragement. You are all SO wonderful! I want you to know how much I appreciate you all. Meeting you and everyone else here has been the best part of this very bad dream.
......speaking of dreams...........last night I spent some time preparing notes for my session with Jody this morning (will report on that when I have time). As I reviewed my posts here I was pretty amazed at all of the positive interactions between me and XH over the past month or so. Probably because of that, I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamt that I was traveling through a series of underground rooms that looked like basements in a 150 year old house (kinda like a series of adjoining rooms in a dungeon). There were laboratory benches with research equipment on them and at one point I realized that it was evening and there were a bunch of young adults in white coats coming back from dinner to return to their positions at the benches to continue doing their experiments into the late evening hours. After some difficulty, I managed to exit this area and the next thing I knew I was in a nice, new, brightly lit kitchen/great room area being hugged by XH. We were hugging and kissing and it was really nice! In my dream I "knew" that we were back together again..........After a long period of time hugging and kissing we were interrupted by the repeated buzzing sound of an intercom (the kind that apartment buildings have). XH's heart started pounding and he stiffened slightly because he didn't want to go to the door to talk to the person there. In my dream I knew that it was GF#2 outside the house, buzzing to get XH to come to the door.........Then I woke up.................I guess the meaning of this dream is pretty clear. It's weird. I have only had one other dream of H/XH and I kissing since the bomb.
Wish that dream had been a premonition of this evening's TT game but it wasn't! XH's mother was admitted to the hospital last night (nothing serious, just a tune-up, she'll be out in 1-2 days) and he texted me from the hospital this afternoon that he would be at TT at 6:30pm. Unfortunately, I didn't realize he was saying that he would be late, because he didn't say he would be late in the text.......so I was there at 6pm (the original time) wondering what was going on. At 6:30pm XH texted me to say he would be late. He didn't get there until 6:45pm so we were only able to play for about an hour. He was very focused on playing, didn't really chit chat, or leave much opportunity for flirting. We played hard and I won T-H-R-E-E games!!!!!!!! XH won 6 games. The most I have ever won before was one game. XH said that it was probably time to change my 6 point handicap. (I think he was kinda serious.) XH was sweating....so I walked up really close to him and said "You're really sweating! Your heart is beating really fast! (and put my hand over his heart)". He didn't pull away from me, but didn't really respond. Then he got down on the floor (push-up position) to look for TT balls under a table and I said "Wow! You're really strong!". He smiled at me (like he was proud of his manliness) and then did about 4-5 push-ups (he had good form!). I said "I won three games! I'm going to that new neighborhood restaurant to celebrate with a glass of wine! If you'd like to come with me, you're welcome." XH looked a little nervous, like he was being choked by a short metaphorical leash that his GF#2 was holding, and said "I'm supposed to be somewhere." We then walked out to our cars. I asked XH if he would text me when he knew the timing of his mother's hospital discharge so I could figure out whether or not it made sense to visit her there. XH gave me a wimpy hug, we got in our cars and drove away.......I went to the restaurant and celebrated my VICTORY!!!!!!!!
So in the last week, XH has really cooled off his contact. It really ticked me off that XH was so businesslike with me, rushing in and out, but I realize that if he wasn't interested at all, he would have canceled our game because he had the perfect excuse with his mother in the hospital. This is the second time in a row that XH has been 30 or more minutes late to TT. It's probably time to show him that I deserve more consideration than that. Not sure if a direct approach or indirect approach is better????
After I got home I calmed down a bit and wrote XH this e-mail: "Mr GAG, You ran away so quickly tonight, you looked like you saw a ghost! Didn't mean to scare you by winning T-H-R-E-E games. ;-) I wanted to ask you how you like your iPad. I'm thinking about using one to operate a new stereo system. :-( Maybe we shouldn't play PP anymore. I wouldn't want to scare you so much that you "pee your pants" or anything. ;-) BTW, the restaurant was very cozy. Met some nice people. GAG"
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Don't think I want to play TT with XH anymore if he keeps this up.
Thanks for listening folks and I'm ready for your 2 x 4s........
