Situation Normal; All Flummoxed Up

[crushednstuck]

Ok, just venting here....Made the mistake of allowing W to go to my birthday dinner with the kids. She uses the opportunity to tell me, effectively, that I don't make enough money for her to stay home with the kids.

She picks a fight in the restaurant on my da*n birthday! I didn't take the bait. The woman who put her job before me for years says she now wants a break. I said, "so take a break". She says "you expect to support us?" "Yes". "That's not our history", she says. Leave it to her to F up my day. And I let her do it.

Again she starts hammering at the past which she can't let go. "you never explained why you acted the way you did". I tell her I'm done dwelling on the past because I know she still won't admit that she had a role in the marriage problems. "Just focusing on the future? That's an easy out" she says. I just know that were I to have opened my mouth, any explanation of our past would have sounded like an excuse to her. There's no way to win. I just wanted to go across the table and go Sam Kinison on her.

I attended a Christian men's group last night, had counseling today and really felt comfortable with a new schedule and limiting my exposure to her hurt and anger. She blows away any peace I had with just a few words. And has the gall to sign her card to me "Love W".

I really would have suffered had I not had my kids come home with me. When we arrived home I had the most thoughtful birthday cards waiting in the mailbox from ILs and BIL. My brother Skyped me from AZ, I put my kids to bed and you poor DBers get the remaining hostility.