That's my plan... I know that in her state of mind everything is making her mad. I tried to give her everything and that pissed her off... I know that my proposal is say more than fair and ill let her know that if its not good enough I can just get a lawyer and we can liquidate everything and sat h all of our equity dissapear. She wants me to take the house so that she can get started on her brand new and improved life. Of course that isn't What she has waiting for her
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Dude, what she is doing is what she said she was going to do AND that is trying to DIVORCE your as*.
Look maybe you think she is kidding and all of a sudden she is going to come around. Maybe she will, maybe she will not. Since this is now a legal matter you need to look at it as if it is a business transaction.
Please dude, you need to stop thinking as if the two of you are in this together. She has HER agenda and you should have YOUR.
A few weeks ago you were going to hand everything over to her. Now, you seem to be changing your mind, which personally I think is a good move.
Look man, I have been where you are at. You may just be thinking that by being nice, being "fair" that somehow she just may change HER mind when she sees how fair and nice you are being. I would not count on it. SHE IS TRYING TO DIVORCE YOU.
Having said this, if you can do this with honor, dignity and class I say go for it. Just do for YOU. Do what YOU really want to do, do not do something with some expectation that she will react favorably.Oh, and BTW, your nice gestures, your being "fair" could be perceived as manipulative to her.
Quote:
She is thinking that she can walk out without it having an affect on her and I know that wont be the case
1) stop mind reading 2) you have no f*cking idea what she may or may not being thinking 3) She just may not give two chits of how this is going to impact her.
You keep saying fair....do you think your definition of fair is the same as hers? If so, then was her definition of "till death do us part" the same as yours.
What - I want to be very clear here. I am NOT saying be an as*. I am saying to protect yourself. I am saying to LISTEN to YOUR L, who by the way is not emotionally invested in the R.
a quick question for you....
What does a man of honor and character do when faced with a difficult sitch?
I leave you with this... Guilt is a useless emotion.
Guilt make ya do things you regret later
FEAR will paralyze you from making good and healthy choices for YOU.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
You're right... it really doesn't matter what I do she spins it into a negative. All I meant by fair was a more than equitable split of the assets in her favor.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Please know that what I'm about to say I say with respect...
I believe your W was angry with the, "you can have everything" crap because it shows you are fighting for nothing. It shows a complete lack of self-respect. Part of your life are the "things" you have accumulated. Fighting for ones rights is attractive. Rolling over and giving up everything looks weak.
Fight dude! Be fair but fight!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
You want to offer a deal in her favor - offer the person that is leaving you, divorcing you, breaking your heart and breaking her vows..a deal that favors her.
Wow
You must be a real nice guy or..
Guilt is driving you or...
Fear is driving you or...
Your tired or...
Your quitting or...
Your manipulating or...
You do not believe in fighting for what is right or
What you believe in or...
Your RUNNING
What, you can Run from your M. You can CHOOSE to take the easy way out. What you CANNOT do is run from YOURSELF. You will at somepoint have to face yourself. Today, tomorrow, 1 year from now, 10 years from now..at somepoint What will have to look in the mirror.
What are you gonna see What?
Ask yourself...what do YOU want and what are you willing to do for it.
The answer is for you.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
The reason why I didn't want anything was because I felt like it was tainted. Like it was blood money. I'm sure that that was emotion messing with me. At this point taking the car and having her pay off the note would get us pretty close to 50/50 in terms of equity (really more like 40/60 in her favor) but that is fine with me. If she tries to fight me on this I guess I will have no choice but to get a lawyer and let them hash it out. Which could actually end up in me getting significantly more plus alimony lol.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Hi What, Yea... That alimony thing scares me too. Been married 16 years and W stopped working full time 15 years ago to raise the kids.
I'm not saying that she does not deserve it or that she wouldn't be fair. I'm just saying ouch!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
