Big talk tonight. I am a wreck, need support.

[hope2011]

Sad_but_happy.... how am I lucky when I'm the one stuck with the lying, cheating scum? lol

I got e-mails from some of them - none of them met him in person. The woman he pursued most aggressively sent me a long e-mail, thanking me for preventing him from hurting her too, apologizing for any part she had (she didn't know, so it's not her fault), and that he last boyfriend had cheated on her and she's here if I need someone to talk to. She's sick about it. Said they never met, she never even gave him her phone number, said they had planned to meet for coffee but didn't because she had to go out of town. They planned to meet the day he went out of town for that meeting - the one he asked me if I wanted to ride along to. What was that about?!?!?!

He may not have respected me, he may still not. But I am standing my ground on the car title and not giving him that e-mail back. If he learns nothing else, he will learn I am not a fool and just because I am keeping my temper and being cordial does not mean that I am a pushover.

So he hasn't met any of them in person. Now what? How do I trust him even though he hasn't physically cheated? No EA's, but he was searching for one. Am I stupid to feel relieved he didn't cheat on me and only wanted to? I'm more angry at myself for not just walking out right now.

The part that kills me is that.... he had all that with me. I know he wants someone new because she won't know what a jerk he can be. She will trust him. She will believe he's wonderful. Just like I once did. But he doesn't get... he'll let her down too and leave her too. It's all about him, someone adoring him... not what he can give someone else, not building a life with someone with the day to day stuff.

I am still DB'ing until I figure out what to do.