Well, it didn't feel all that great at the time! My insides were roiling. Voices crept up a couple of times, but not too much at all. Tried to keep it calm. W first said OM was married, then changed it to recently divorced. Then she told three different versions about how she met him. None are probably true.
As far as confronting the om, believe me - I have no problem doing just that. In fact, I was at his work and stared him straight in the face. He doesn't know me or who I am (although he might now), but it took all the control I had to not reach out and grab him and give him some advice. I was cool on the outside, but just seething on the inside. Kept telling myself it would do more harm than good in the long run.
Anyway, I thought it was also counter to what DB says about being detached and not acting concerned about that sitch? That the more I involved myself with it, the more it would drive the W strait into it? That I should let her have her space and not pressure her? Now I'm a little confused about what I should do regarding the OM. My very first instinct from the start was to confront him.
As to the R, I will try and follow your suggestion. I've been trying to maintain some distance - even when home. I'm usually in the den, basement, or even outside. About the only time we are together as we do eat dinner together. And I will go into the living room at about 10 pm after I am done doing other things. We will chill and watch a tv show for the last hour, and then we both go to bed. In the same bed. Contemplating moving out of the bedroom - not the house. Right now she still snuggles up to my back in the bed. Maybe I should create a little distance here as well?
