Having a really hard time...

[what next?]

That was my take. I mean it seemed like a pretty easy opening for me to say "yeah well it was a little unpleasant when you filed for divorce 2 days before our 10th anniversary" lol

And she didn't leave the conversation open ended... it was just a statement.

This is my favorite week of the year so I'm not going to let anything bring me down. She knows that I will be enjoying myself so maybe that will be good too.

[what next?]

Today was a really bad day for some reason lol.

I'm supposed to be really happy this week but I think the fact that I was looking forward to today taking my mind off of things so much just set myself up for being let down. Instead of being able to be happy i was just thinking about her all day.

She "liked" a picture of my nephew that my sister posted on facebook today and for some reason that really bummed me out lol. Maybe I should look at it as a baby step in my direction... I'm going to try doing that.

[sandi2]

I'm supposed to be really happy this week

I think you're right in that we set ourselves up by expecting our emotions to respond to some date on a calendar, holiday, vacation, etc. Try to relax and don't be so hard on yourself. Learn to be your own friend.

[what next?]

She sent me a long email about the process today. I'm positive that she did this because she knows that I'm trying to enjoy myself this week.

she said:

Hey, my lawyer is working on a decree with the split of assets, etc. I know you think it's unlikely you'd be able to take over the mortgage but that aside, would you prefer to get the house? The lawyer said if you do, you might start with Flagstar Bank where we have the mortgage & check if you can assume the loan in your name & remove me.

Also, she said you should start taking on your bills like cell phone. Assuming it would help, I can pull together a list with amount/due date and scan the bill if I have a copy.

I'm tracking down a couple questions (like IRS treatment of the house credit in divorce) for the lawyer, too.

As far as the process: my lawyer said once I've signed off on what she puts together, we'll send to you to sign off (we have to sign in front of a notary) then it's just a matter of going to court. It would be an afternoon - she'll call the court clerk & see how many cases there are for the day & if it's not many, we can go. Then we'll have a certain amount of time to take care of details based on who gets what (including stuff like changing insurance, closing or changing names on accounts & bills, etc).

Once I have stuff pinned down with the lawyer, I'll talk to you about it before I send to you. Just keeping you in the loop. I don't think it should take very long depending on tracking down information & if you have any issues. Let me know if you have questions or specific requests. I know you'd like it to be done quickly.

I have your mail from the past week or two. Do you know when Trina gets back? Or, I could leave it on the front porch for you to get.

Hope you're enjoying the Chili Bowl!


...how do i respond to this?

[what next?]

Also, what happens if I refuse to sign off on what they send me?

[MrBond]

"I'm positive that she did this because she knows that I'm trying to enjoy myself this week. "

Mindreading. She's just doing what she said she'd do.

Questions like what you have are why you need to get a L to know your rights. I thought you were going to just give her everything?

You could say you didn't get her message and that you'll be thinking what the best course of action is for you. Start getting information on your own and come up with your own proposal. Sounds like she's enjoying the control you've given her.

[what next?]

I don't know what you mean by saying She is doing what she said she was going to do... she has only had the one email exchange about the charge on the account in the past month... it can't be a coincidence that she chose now to send me this information.

I am going to let her know that I have no interest in the house as I am looking to move to Houston. I do have my own proposal that Is more than fair to her... I did tell her that she could have everything but she said that isn't what she wants... now I have to transition into prodecting myself without seeming combative.

She is thinking that she can walk out without it having an affect on her and I know that wont be the case

[MrBond]

"I don't know what you mean by saying She is doing what she said she was going to do"

She told you that she was going to proceed with the D and that's what she's doing. The timing of it might suck, but in her mind she's just taking care of business.

"now I have to transition into prodecting myself without seeming combative."

Finally! That's why I always have to stress how important it is to know your rights. You never know what your WAS will pull. Just to let you know...whatever your counter proposal is to her she will get upset. It's a rarity when this doesn't happen. Anything that doesn't fit into their grand plan they tend to get upset at.

Don't let it shake you. Stick to your guns. Good luck.

[Denver_2010]

Just read the email that your W sent to you. It hurt me to hear those words and it isn't even my sitch. I dread if/when I hear something similar.

I know that both Bond and I have already told you this, but do yourself a favor and get an attorney. The attorney can be a good buffer bw you and W so that you don't come across as the bad guy... or at least not as much so.

Hang in there.

[what next?]

I don't know what you mean by saying She is doing what she said she was going to do... she has only had the one email exchange about the charge on the account in the past month... it can't be a coincidence that she chose now to send me this information.

I am going to let her know that I have no interest in the house as I am looking to move to Houston. I do have my own proposal that Is more than fair to her... I did tell her that she could have everything but she said that isn't what she wants... now I have to transition into prodecting myself without seeming combative.

She is thinking that she can walk out without it having an affect on her and I know that wont be the case