On Figurative Ledge - Talk Me Down?

[Denver_2010]

It's only been six days of darkness? Not enough time. I disagree with the others. I don't think you should pursue right now.

Your FIL is going home to tell his W everything that was said and then she's going to tell your W. Let your W stew and wonder for a while.

This whole D thing came to a head over her threatening to put the dogs out of the house! The two of you had fought since getting legally M. There needs to be more time for each of you to get your acts together and decide just how much you want to be together.

She's beginning to wonder if you really want her. Good! Maybe she'll even work up the courage to contact you. Let her pursue a bit.

Is OM still in the picture? Have you cut lady friends from your life?

My advice is to talk to your DB Coach and go by her/his advice.

The first 6 months of being legally married were decent. 2010 was just a train wreck. I think that it had more to do with me being depressed over business and personal finances than anything. Yes, the last BIG argument we had were over my dogs. Pretty stupid, I know. In my defense however, my dogs are like children to me. I think, for me, it was more about the lack of respect that my W showed me when she made the comment in front of my friends than anything. Still pretty stupid thing to cause such a long argument.

I have no idea of status of OM. FIL doesn't agree that W is in A... at least PA. He sees W quite a bit bc he babysits SS and picks SS up for school every morning. He says he has never seen OM there at W's house. Of course, this does not mean that there is nothing going on on the weekends, nor does it mean that nothing has happened in the past 2 months. Bottom line is that I really have no clue what status is with OM. I don't ask about OM when I do have contact with W, SS does not bring him up, so I just don't know.

I HOPE that she's beginning to wonder if I really want her. When this all first went down in early November, I told her that I would fight for our M and that I would win her heart back. I continued that line up through, probably close to the time that she moved out at the very end of November. I stopped saying things like that bc I found DB. Though I have told her as recently as Dec 22, when I last spoke to her face to face, that I am still fighting for M.

I wonder if she wonders "well he says he's fighting for M but he isn't doing anything?"

My concern is that she thinks that I am the same selfish, self centered person that she came to see me as while we were together... Bc, as she may perceive it, I am not actually doing anything to fight for her.

I know that I am by being here, by looking at myself and my issues, but I worry that she is detaching from me.