Lighthouse lit till WAW comes out of fog.

[habitacker]

On the day of the bomb, why wife told me she was tense just coming home from work. She had mentioned that she had thought about medication, but she sees the effects of it. She is a pharmacist. She sees it as a cover up.

I also have this view on medication, but I need to do something. I don't think I have slept more than 2 hours at a time since the bomb. (about 4 months). I am a bundle of nerves. This seems to come and go.

At times I feel I get a little control over my sitch, and start feeling positive. It is always short lived.

I am really starting to feel like I just can't take it anymore. Over time I thought I would get better. Sometimes it seems I have, but it just comes right back. It hurts me to even be saying this because it makes me feel weak.

Does anyone have any suggestions or experience about medication, and for what? Depression?

I am afraid of medication for the same reasons as my wife. I feel like I wouldn't be who I really am. I feel like it would make me someone I am not, and at this time I really want to be my true self.

How do you go about this? Do you just go to a doctor and say I think I am depressed?

I am not saying I have depression, maybe this is the same as everyone else in this D sitch, except maybe I am not being able to accept or deal with it very good. I don't know, this is why I am asking.

If I have to have patience and this sitch of mine is going to take some time, I don't think I can do it in the condition I am in now. I feel burnt out.

I know that God doesn't give us anything more than what he knows we can handle, but it sure seems like he is piling it on.

I feel ashamed even asking about this. It's like I am to weak to deal with my problems. I actually feel strong about dealing with sitch, but something just keeps dragging me back down.

If anyone has any thoughts or experience about depression, or medication, or whatever, please feel free to respond.

Thank you.