Last nite she asked me if I had talked to a divorce lawyer yet. I replied that I hadn't, even though I have one time. She told me that I had better, she recommended it. I said I'm not gonna bother, this is your decision and I'm not gonna assist you in the process. At which point she asked me if I wanted to be served papers while at work, or if I wanted to go to her lawyer and pick them up. I said Do what you have to do. Well, she says, I just thought out of respect for you. I told her if she had any respect for me she wouldn't be doing the types of things that she is doing (EA, at the least). She ignored this and said well to save you embarrassment. I answered I have nothing to be embarrassed about - I have done nothing embarrassing.
At this point I told her that I had something to confess, that I had to come clean. I said that I hated what we had become. Both of us - sneaky, snoopy, untrusting, deceitful people. I had become almost as obsessed with tracking her texts and phone calls to EA as she was making them! I told her that I knew what was going on and had proof - documentation and records, of her texts and messages. And that I knew his name. She just kept on telling me that she wasn't doing anything. I finally told her his name and phone number. She said, Oh he and I are just friends. Uh huh. I told her that I knew she texted him over 2500 times in 2 months. She said thats not even true. She denied everything. I told her that I had proof of her phone calls and named dates and times. I could finally see her starting to crack a little.
Caught her in a few more lies. For instance, she said she was extremely mad at her lawyer because I should have been served in October. But when I asked her in Dec when I would be served, she said right after the holiday. When I told her that, she didn't even know how to respond. And when I told her that I was in his store while he was working, and looked him straight in the face - she really got mad! Super defensive of him, and again, how they are just friends. HA!
Her new thing is that we are incompatible. But when I asked her to tell me one way we weren't - she couldn't. Her only answer was I'm just not here anymore, and don't wanna be. I merely said I understand. She was increasingly angry as she couldn't explain anything away. I just said - Hey, I don't agree with and can't control what you are doing. It's your decision. I hope whatever it is, that you find what you are looking for and are happy. But I CAN control what I do. I'm moving on. I don't know if that is with you or without you, but I'm moving forward. I'm done snooping, and spying, and checking. Feel free to continue and pursue whatever it is that you think you need to check out. I'm not concerned with it anymore. I am free from it.
There is more, but you get the idea. At this point, I turned and went upstairs to bed. She yelled after me to fix the dresser in the guest bedroom, that she was going to sleep in there from now on. Well, she slept in our bed with me. And today, she talked my ear off (just small stuff, chit chat) like there was no tomorrow. Nicer than ever. I know it's just because she dislikes conflict. But some of the things that she said last nite, the meanness of her voice, and the meanness in her face, I wonder if she will ever come around. At his point I'd say 95% not. I will hate it, hate going through it. But I'm starting to resign myself to the fact that it will most likely happen. I don't know how I will get through it, or how long it will take. I just know that I WILL get through it. Probably a whole lot poorer. But hopefully a better man.
