I've had a breakthrough and think I'm done. I read something and thought something else, and wonder if these apply other BS's.
"In a dysfunctional relationship, Person A will do something hurtful and wrong, and when Person B objects, Person A will become defensive, argumentative and stand there until Person B appologizes."
I'd add the following: "Also in a dysfunctional relationship, when Person A meets their relationship obligations it will be with fanfare, and an expectation of being thanked, as though they are doing Person B a favor and are now 'owed'. Meanwhile, Person B will quietly meet their relationship obligations and will only be recognized by Person A when they do not meet expectations." This creates an imbalance in the relationship, and a sense of entitlement, I think. The kind of situation, I think, that could lead Person A into thinking they can have an affair and deserve to have one.
Am not sure why this took so long to figure out, but I feel like I'm free. I want to be with someone who quietly meets their own obligations and I meet mine. A mutual, joyful and loving relationship.
Somehow, this realization is leading me to really detach. Hooray!
