Am I piecing? Just can't tell 2...

[Sad_but_happy]

You are correct Bond. I'm just not sure we are at that point yet. We have been in MC for years. The A just happened a few months ago. And it ended very early November.

The last time we were in MC my wife stated she needed time and space and she was afraid she would not get those "in love" feelings back.

So I have been giving her that space and it has worked. I think feelings may be coming back or maybe she is faking it. Like I said, we are physical every day. Maybe she is forcing it in hopes it happens. Who knows...

My W is tired of MC. Been going 8 years with little progress. My W is a very good person but she really is rigid and not warm with her family. And not just to me but kids too. She is a different person in front of other people. From day 1 of MC all I asked from W was the following:

1. Lets laugh every day - She does not.
2. Let's ML and enjoy one another - ML was never an issue but she just can't relax and enjoy.
3. Always kiss good night/good morning - Cause she always woke up crabby. Resented me for always being in a good mood.

That's it. That's all I wanted. To this day I still don't know what she really wants.

She does not want a career but but at the same time doesn't want to stay home or does not seem happy staying home.

She wants to be able to support herself (independance) but does not want to work full time.

She wants a college degree but does not want to go to school.


I have ALWAYS said the following; "Follow what ever dream you have. Stay home and raise the kids, go to college and be what you desire, all I want is your happiness." I have ALWAYS supported anything she wanted to do.

She's 39 and still has no dreams. I will be honest. I lost respect for her. Mostly because she has no dreams or goals and no direction or solutions. I really just want happiness. That's the goal.

I'm not sure I will ever find happiness with her because I truly don't believe she is happy. Yes she is in IC and has been on meds for years... But she is the mother of my children...

I have a question that scares me but I'm putting it out there for the DB community. Please answer honestly...

I sometimes wonder if I want to get back together with W because of ego. Not wanting to lose to OM. Don't get me wrong, I do love her. But I find it odd that I wanted out for YEARS and all of a sudden, I'm faced with OM and I magically can't live without W? I am trying to reconcile that in my mind... I know I don't want to hurt my children. Do any of you out there feel the same or have the same questions in your minds?