I am throwing this idea that has been with me for a couple of days now to see what you all think.
My D had a horrible time with H this weekend due to H staying at hi parents house. She is 16 and had a BF and doesn't get to see him like she does when she is here at the house. I allow him to come and hang out here with us. D said that her grandpa was grumpy the whole weekend, and in turn H was grumpy too. I feel like this was his seeing some of the consequences of his actions.
But, now, my idea is to offer for H to come stay here on his weekends with D. I could stay out of the way as much as possible, stay in my bedroom or basement. I could come and go as I needed and they could come and go as needed, H is still responsible to get her back and forth to various activities. D would feel much more comfortable in her own home. H could stay in the guest room as he did Christmas eve.
There are good things I see coming from this:
1) D would be much more comfortable. 2) H would see changes I have made. 3) H would possibly feel more comfortable with D here.
The bad things I see that could come of this:
1) I would feel like a guest in my own home. 2) Can I emotionally handle H being here and be totally detached?
What do you all think? Plus, if I am really being honest with myself, I want H to see how life here is not as bad as he thinks it is. I will not pursue, I will not initiate and I will not try to talk with him other than friendly conversation he may bring up.
Of course, he could say no, he doesn't want to do this either. I guess if I do bring it to his attention, then I have to have exactly 0 expectations.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
