Try to remember how she responded positive to you when you started coming out of your depression. I believe if she knew she could come home every night to find her H calm & pleasant....there would be an immediate change in her. Remember what she said about wanting things to be calmer?
You have all the reason in the world for your emotions to be in overdrive, but I think it is majorly working against you. In fact, I think I've seen a couple of places where she didn't tell you about contacts b/c of dreading your reaction. The contacts could have been strictly business, but it would discourage anyone from approaching the subject. If she already was drained from the bout of depression and now facing your emotions roller coaster everyday....it could be cause for her to withhold information. Just a thought.
I was actually thinking about your stitch as I was driving home from work. I was remembering how you have mentioned getting upset and yelling. Have you tried to practice speaking in a low, soft voice when you want to get her attention? I am a firm believer in that having more effect on a female, rather than yelling. Yelling, just lets her know you're mad. The response from her isn't usually what you're wanting. But, when you speak in a soft, low, controlled voice....that has a totally different effect and the results are a lot better. It might prevent you from having a heart attack, too.
How are your kids doing? Do they see you and their mom arguing?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
