Thanks for great insight and advice. It is tough recognizing the results when you want things to move so much faster than they are. I do need to stop trying to interpret all of her actions and comments etc. Not sure how many times I have already mentioned this on my Threads, but it is something that I really need to do.
I don't want to confront her again because she will be suspicous about where I am getting my information. She presently thinks that it is a co-worker who has a grudge against her. The snooping does help validate things and allows me to get a better sense of where she maybe at in terms of her relationship with the OM. Although he is divorced and not re-married, it appears that he is involved in a relationship. This would also explain why my wife hasn't made the jump to the OM as he has a relationship that he would have to break off.
I am optimistic about the job search because she is looking at positions outside of her current company which will help to break the bond with the OM.
I will stick with my plan, my self improvement process which will always be an on-going project and look for those positive signs that things are moving forward even though it maybe very slow going.
