who are you?

[25yearsmlc]

So to recap, your description or your h's behavior has now shifted completely from his
"repulsive deviant behavior" to your new label of "domestic abuser" but it doesn't exactly fit a typical abuser. He never did this before in your years long marriage, but you report that he will definitely do it again. Interesting analysis. Guess I wish you'd avoid the labels you toss around, and that you let your new male friend use (as well as his "helpful convenient" list of divorce lawyers). You see nothing odd about this. Is it possible, just possible, that some major rationalizing is going on here? I wasn't there okay, so I'm only going by YOUR words, which have shifted.
And it's worth asking.

Last but not least, why come to a divorce BUSTING site now? I mean, apparently You don't want to save the marriage. So what do you want from us? If you want a legal strategy, leave that to a lawyer.

I don't mean to sound too tough on you, but every time someone points out a single possible item in explanation for your h, ( or the possibility of his being physically or mentally ill-which you totally ignored) OR If anyone tries to empathize with him or understand him, or God forbid take his side on an issue, or even question you about your role in any of this, they get their head bitten off by others. Plus, you ignore the issues raised and then you usually reiterate a modified, and ever worsening description of your h's behavior so that the ONLY "answer" to your problems is divorce. So again, I sincerely ask, what do you really want from this site? How can we help you? And have you given ANY thought to what I said earlier? You claim that before all this happened, your marriage was a good solid one and that all this behavior is out of the blue and totally new. And you are already looking into when to divorce him. Wow...