sounds as if you ARE getting results, but not at the speed which you'd like. (Join the club). She's still there, and she is possibly mourning the fact that she has conceded to OM that she cannot continue with him. That means she gets it, at some level. But there's lot of mind reading with you trying to interpret her moods. You are negatively interpreting even her good moods so what happens if she's irritable? Will that also be a bad sign? I'd take her actions and words at face value and if you verify that she means something else, via snooping, then you will at least know what is real. As for confronting her, that does risk a lot. You risk her knowing you are snooping and how you are doing it, which means she'll hide things more. And of course the risks Sandi mentions about rebelling to show you cannot control her, is another risk.
To me her job search is only slightly mixed news, b/c OM knows about it. But it IS a good thing on the whole! A really good thing. Whether she realizes it or not, the less time she's around or near him, the better for you. It may make the finality of the break, real to her. So I'm glad about that. Imagine the opposite for a minute, wherein she's applying for work that gives her MORE time with OM? That'd be bad, so don't go missing some positives.
Finally, If the changes you made in you, are real and positive, please keep them no matter what. Those changes are for you and your kids, as much as for her and the marriage. That's a huge thing. Sandi's post is very important to fully take in and process. I hope you will. Good luck!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
